Tag: be still

Be Still Series: Saying No

We need to get better at saying, “No”.  There, I said it!  I know, I know…we don’t want to let people down. We want to be reliable.  We want to come across as if we can do it all.  We want to help and not be helped.  I get it.  Here’s the thing: we can still be reliable, help and be helped all while also saying, “No,” when that response is what God would want for us.

Be wary of putting helping and declining at odds with one another: choosing between the two does not have to be an either/or decision. It can, and should, be a both/and dichotomy whereby one furthers the other: saying “no” to pave the way for something better and having the ability to better serve because something else was turned down.

When discerning what is aligned with God’s will for your life there are three main resources at your disposal: scripture, prayer and other believers.

We can’t do it all.  We weren’t meant to.  What if our saying, “No,” allows for someone else to say, “Yes?” Why would we allow ourselves to get burnt out over doing all the things when we could really excel in fewer areas that really highlight our gifts from God? A key component to being still is only taking on what God intends for us to take on.

Remember, just because we could doesn’t mean we should.

If turning down opportunities to serve (in the church or out of it) sounds like it could be challenging, take some time to practice.  Yep! Practice saying, “No.”  There’s two main approaches here: 

  1. Start with something small so you can build up some resistance, or
  2. Just go all in and decline a larger commitment.  Consequently, in turn, all other rejections may seem like a piece of cake. 

If this is something you really want to delve more into, I recommend the Cloud & Townsend book, Boundaries.  Part three, Developing Healthy Boundaries, might be especially useful for you. 

Here is an analogy from a Christian counselor I once saw.  It goes something like this:

A juggler, even the best in the world, can only juggle so many balls at the same time.  Even if every ball up in the air is “good”, there is still only so much that can be suspended midair at any given time.  Be intentional about what you pick up and allow to be juggled by you. 

My insightful therapist, a much wiser human than I

Pray:

Father God, my desire to help others and do for my family is a double edged sword at times. Sometimes I have nothing left to give, and yet that still doesn’t stop me from taking on more commitments. I’ve already proven to you and others that I could do these things, but help me focus on what I should do. Give me the strength and discernment needed to respectfully decline the next opportunity that is not aligned with your will for me. I know that such a task will be done even better by someone who is truly called to play that role. Allow me to only commit to those activities which make the best use of the precious gifts you have graciously given to me.

In Jesus’ Holy & Precious Name, Amen.

Be Still Series: Living it Out

Yesterday was Christmas, as I am writing this, and we had a relaxing day, just the five us us at home. Yet, so much goes into the day ahead of time, I can’t help but feel that a good, soulful rest is in order.

In this brief season between Christmas and New Year’s I’m going to follow my own advice. How hypocritical would it be if I wrote about being still if I did not also live it out?! Thank you for extending some grace while I, myself, rest and re-focus this week!

Although I am leaving you with very little content today, in many ways it’s all that you need: God’s own Words. Here are some verses to pray over which reinforce the biblical imperative to be still:

Be still, and know that I am God.

Psalm 46:10

The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.

Exodus 14:14

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.

Psalm 37:7

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters.

Psalm 23:1-2

There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his.

Hebrews 4:9-10

Now then, stand still and see this great thing the LORD is about to do before your eyes!

1 Samuel 12:16

The Lord continues to do remarkable things, just as He did in the time of Samuel. Awe-inspiring works in those around us and in you. Follow me this week in being still and let’s see what divine works we can notice! What may He change or soften in us?!

As as a closing devotional, here is a Jesus Calling reading from this week which seems to be especially relevant to the Be Still Series:

I AM PREPARING YOU for what is on the road ahead…Take time to be still in My Presence so that I can strengthen you. The busier you become, the more you need this time apart with Me. So many people… live and work in their own strength–until that becomes depleted. Then they either cry out to Me for help or turn away in bitterness.

How Much better it is to walk close to Me, depending on My strength and trusting Me in every situation. If you live in this way… Your unhurried pace of living will stand out… Some people may deem you lazy, but many more will be blessed by your peacefulness. Walk in the Light with Me, and you will reflect Me to the watching world.

Jesus Calling by Sarah Young, December 27

Be Still Series: Emptying our Plates

In a short video for my first post, I mentioned how I didn’t want to start this blog unless I knew that God willed me to write it.  Over the years I learned that one of the biggest contributors to burnout is piling responsibilities on top of responsibilities, without ever consulting if said commitments were actually willed by God to be a part of my life at that time.  Of course, we will experience burnout if we fill up our time with things that were never meant to be there to begin with!

Therefore, today’s post in the Be Still Series will focus on shifting away from being overcommitted. If you didn’t check out the first post in the series from last week, please be sure to do that!

Here’s a gentle warning: even commitments which are “for God” or which are “good” and “healthy” are generally not worth the trouble if they are not aligned with God’s will for our lives at that point.  That means praying through some hard choices.  It also means possibly foregoing what is good for what is best. 

If you struggle with being overcommitted and a general lack of stillness, there could be a number of contributing factors.  Maybe there is a value system which does not prioritize time and resources they way God would prefer? Maybe there is apprehension around saying, “No.”. The possibilities are endless, none are mutually exclusive, and I have been guilty of most!  Regardless of why you are overextended, today, I’m going to offer two pieces of advice on how to reduce your current commitments:

1st Piece of Advice

Make a list of everything on your plate right now.  What can you outsource (i.e., shoppers at the grocery store or pick up options)?  What can a spouse or significant other do or be taught to do?  An older child?  What can you do away with all together? What needs to be put on hold for a period of time? Sometimes seeing things on paper can help make sense of what stays and what goes.  Of course, pray on it!

2nd Piece of Advice

If you are really struggling (or even if you are not), consider clearing as much as possible from your schedule. This may sound like a silly or extreme idea, but I LOVE doing this each winter.  We live in the Poconos and although I love looking at the snow, I don’t necessarily love being in it.  It also gets dark very early in the winter…very, very early. 

Needless to say, winter in the Poconos really lends itself very well to a homebody seeking to lessen their load.  Also, with all the hustle and bustle of beginning a new school year finally far enough behind us, it really is an opportune time to deliberately press pause on activities. 

Maybe those expensive gymnastic lessons lose some appeal after taking a break from them?  Maybe that ministry you are serving in will be able to open the door for someone else to come in and serve in your absence? Only move toward reintroducing or introducing a commitment once you are certain it is meant to be there. More on this in a future post!

Now, as I’ve mentioned in other posts, I will never offer advice that I don’t follow myself or that is not a product of my own experience.  Here is one example of how God worked through my commitments, or lack thereof, a few months ago. 

As some of you may know from reading other blog entries, I am in school for my doctorate.  This Fall I was originally signed up to take 3 courses.  The more I prayed about it, the more I realized that committing to three courses in one semester was more of me imposing a vigorous workload on myself as opposed to God leading me there. 

Ultimately, just before the semester started, I dropped all but one course which was especially compelling.  I told God I didn’t know why I was led to do less, but my time was His with the “new-found” time that I was able to create margin for.  Within a few days I had an informal discussion with my pastor about possibly serving through writing.  This was his idea, but the more I prayed on it, the most convicted I was that he was right.  Within a few more days I began planning for Living Simply With God.  None of that would have ever happened with the pressure of 9 credits weighing on me! 

Our stories will look different, but there will be a common dominator between you and I:  we will both be able to accomplish infinitely more for those entrusted to our care and for the kingdom if we surrender to God’s will for our lives.  Sometimes less is more!

Don’t get me wrong, I can still overcommit, but I am getting better about consulting with God while I decide what to take on. 

Now that we have reviewed some ways to think about and actually create more time in our busy schedules, we will spend the next posts delving into some ideas around how to keep our schedules manageable.  Without that, we will be back to square one in no time.

Pray:

Father God, in your infinite wisdom, help me to discern which responsibilities are really mine and mine alone.  I feel comfortable when I am in control so I don’t delegate as often as I should, but I know this is not your desire for me.  It can’t be!  Trusting you is more than enough. When I feel led to transition out of participating in an activity in some capacity, I will trust that you know what is best for me and the others around me.  I will humbly follow where you lead.

In Jesus’ Holy & Precious Name,

Amen

Be Still Series: An Introduction

 “Come rest your eyes on the King…Jesus our Heavenly King.”  These lyrics are filling my church’s sanctuary right now. Lights are dimmed, but the glow of Christmas Trees fills the front of this sacred space. The Chosen’s Christmas Special, The Messengers, is livestreaming for those who are yearning to focus on the true meaning of the season, and I’m sitting back by the sound board, putting the finishing touches on this week’s post. 

Today’s post will be the first in the Be Still series, a series which will take us into the New Year.  Fitting that as I begin to wrap up the first installment of the series I should be listening to “Come rest your eyes on the King…Jesus our Heavenly King.”  Don’t you think?  I love how God works like that. 

Over recent weeks I have had different versions of the same conversation with various friends.  These conversations are what prompted me to address the topics we are covering over the next few weeks together. “I just don’t know how to say, ‘No’,” said one.  “I am completely depleted,” said another.  As recently as this morning, I was rushing to not one but two gas stations before church because the first station was just like my car: practically out of gas and waiting to get more. 

Why do we let ourselves run so ragged? It’s clearly not God’s intention for us.  He could never want this lifestyle of perpetual exhaustion and restlessness for us, His children whom He delights so much in.  In fact, we know from David that our Almighty Father desires the complete opposite for us:

Be Still and Know I am God. 

Psalm 46:10a

Be Still. This is not just a mere suggestion. It’s an imperative straight from the Lord, calling upon us to take up stillness as a part of our very being. This is more than acting still or desiring to be still, or thinking about being still.  It’s actually a state of being.  A state of being still. But how to we get there?

I don’t pretend to know all the answers, or even a fraction of the answers.  However, I do know what it is like to experience burnout and have nothing left for the people I should have the most for. I know what it’s like just going through the motions, too worn and defeated to even know I was worn and defeated.    

I know what it’s like to try and remedy this imbalance on my own.

Once I got clued in that my body was keeping the score, I knew some changes were in order.  I read the books.  I did the things (think yoga, breathwork, and other practices).  None of these are bad things! In many ways, they are quite helpful, especially when they promote self-healing. However, they won’t sustain us, and they shouldn’t be done apart from a larger framework defined and ordained by God.

I also do not pretend to live the most balanced life at all times. Nonetheless, by the grace of God, I also know what it’s like to surrender a worn-out body and mind to Him. This allowed Him, not I, to re-prioritize how I spend my time and who I spend it with. 

The Lord had a great deal of heart work to do within me (and he still does). That is not something anyone but God can do for you, and will only come from abiding in Him. That said, I also learned a lot along the path toward balanced living where the Lord is prioritized above all else. When doing so, believe it or not, I still had more than enough time and energy for anything which followed Him.

Over the next few weeks, as we turn our hearts and minds to the miraculous yet simple coming of our King incarnate, let us also seek out simplicity.  We will explore priorities, commitments and boundaries so that we may be obedient in Being Still.    In doing so we will be set free from what we were never intended to take on to begin with. Is there a bolder way to enter the new year than declaring that our time and priorities are His?  Don’t be fooled!  There’s boldness in the obedience and stillness. 

Pray:

Father God, Help me to slow down.  I am tired of doing things my own way.  Literally tired. Mentally tired.  Spiritually tired. At times, I have nothing left for my family, myself or you.  I know there must be another way. I know you desire me to be still.  Can you help me with that, please?  You are far wiser than I, and I seek to do your will! 

In Jesus’ Holy and Precious Name,

Amen.